Brianna
Grace
Graces journal
Top of one of Briannas bookcases
Monday, November 9, 2009
Photographers, the next generation.
This is what happens when you give the kids the camera and set them loose in the bedroom...
Grace
Graces journal
Top of one of Briannas bookcases
Grace
Graces journal
Top of one of Briannas bookcases
I love my husband
We had a chance to talk today while the kids had rest time and played nicely in their rooms after going to the pool. It was so nice. It reminds me how lucky I am for my husband.
I am so thankful to Sue and Gus for raising him to be the man he is today. We are not perfect and we have made bad choices along the way in the 10+ years we have been married but no matter high high the highs or how low the lows he has always been there.
He has had to deal with things in our personal life that I know not all husbands would deal with. In our marriage vows they said "in sickness and health" I know he didn't have any idea what was down that road. The most recent, but not the only, was him having to pack gauze in my stomach every night. Plus since he knows how much it bothered me he did everything he could to make it as easy as possible for me. To distract me from what was happening and to get it done as fast as he could.
Who signs up for that? When you are in your early 20's and getting married the future looks like sunshine and roses and when it's not, at the first sign of it not being easy so many people throw their arms up in the air and say oh we don't love each anymore or we just grew apart instead of working on maintaining what brought you together in the first place. I don't worry about him doing that.
He has two daughters who can be a handful but who will never doubt that they are loved each and everyday.
Plus no matter how bad of a wife I was that day, that week, or that month I know how lucky I am that he loves me too.
*Besides I told him if we ever get a divorce he's getting the kids so I think that will keep him around. haha
I am so thankful to Sue and Gus for raising him to be the man he is today. We are not perfect and we have made bad choices along the way in the 10+ years we have been married but no matter high high the highs or how low the lows he has always been there.
He has had to deal with things in our personal life that I know not all husbands would deal with. In our marriage vows they said "in sickness and health" I know he didn't have any idea what was down that road. The most recent, but not the only, was him having to pack gauze in my stomach every night. Plus since he knows how much it bothered me he did everything he could to make it as easy as possible for me. To distract me from what was happening and to get it done as fast as he could.
Who signs up for that? When you are in your early 20's and getting married the future looks like sunshine and roses and when it's not, at the first sign of it not being easy so many people throw their arms up in the air and say oh we don't love each anymore or we just grew apart instead of working on maintaining what brought you together in the first place. I don't worry about him doing that.
He has two daughters who can be a handful but who will never doubt that they are loved each and everyday.
Plus no matter how bad of a wife I was that day, that week, or that month I know how lucky I am that he loves me too.
*Besides I told him if we ever get a divorce he's getting the kids so I think that will keep him around. haha
Friday, November 6, 2009
Updates
Well our phone, cable and internet went out. That’s always fun when it’s the beginning of a three day weekend when you live on the sun a tropical island. This morning (Friday) we got up and did our chores. Dishes for me and the girls cleaned their rooms and cleaned all their stuff out of the living room and Grace swept and Brianna vacuumed with the promise of going to the pool. So we get our swim suits on and all sun screened up and off we go. Only to get there and find that it’s closed. Someone pooped in it yesterday and so they had to clean and shock it. Ugh GROSS. Anyways I have to get a new military ID card today (goodbye to my last ID photo weighing over 300lbs) so we didn’t have time to drive to another one of the pools and they didn’t want to go to the beach so we will try for a pool trip again tomorrow. Josh will be home then and can come too which was decide that might be more fun anyways because he can throw them so they can do belly flops. How that is fun I have no idea.
Update on Grace. We saw the doctor out in town again and I have to say so far I like him. He really seems to listen to what we say and he spends a lot of time talking to Grace. He agrees 100% with the diagnosis of ADHD and ODD, however he doesn’t think the behaviors are red flags for bi polar he actually thinks it’s OCD, or more specifically OCD tendencies. At this point in time the OCD behaviors are extreme enough to give her the diagnosis but understanding how it works and that she has the tendencies will help explain why she reacts the way she does to things. I know I’m not explaining it well but it made sense to us when he explained it. We also changed her medication to a completely different class and there is a definite improvement in her behavior, both at home and at school. It’s not perfect by any means but at least it’s not the daily struggle just to get through the evening.
Update on Brianna. She continues to do well at school. She loves it and is learning new things every day. At home she has been acting up for the last couple of weeks so we have been really making sure she realizes that she is not going to get away with the negative behavior. I know she sees all the attention Grace gets so we work on just praising the good behavior and she seems to be coming out of it again.
All in all I’m feeling hopeful that things will start to turn around. Josh has been able to be home a little more which makes a huge difference. I think the new medication is making a difference and hopefully this new doctor will work out. The only bad thing is it is very difficult to get appointments because they are so booked. We will see what happens.
Update on Grace. We saw the doctor out in town again and I have to say so far I like him. He really seems to listen to what we say and he spends a lot of time talking to Grace. He agrees 100% with the diagnosis of ADHD and ODD, however he doesn’t think the behaviors are red flags for bi polar he actually thinks it’s OCD, or more specifically OCD tendencies. At this point in time the OCD behaviors are extreme enough to give her the diagnosis but understanding how it works and that she has the tendencies will help explain why she reacts the way she does to things. I know I’m not explaining it well but it made sense to us when he explained it. We also changed her medication to a completely different class and there is a definite improvement in her behavior, both at home and at school. It’s not perfect by any means but at least it’s not the daily struggle just to get through the evening.
Update on Brianna. She continues to do well at school. She loves it and is learning new things every day. At home she has been acting up for the last couple of weeks so we have been really making sure she realizes that she is not going to get away with the negative behavior. I know she sees all the attention Grace gets so we work on just praising the good behavior and she seems to be coming out of it again.
All in all I’m feeling hopeful that things will start to turn around. Josh has been able to be home a little more which makes a huge difference. I think the new medication is making a difference and hopefully this new doctor will work out. The only bad thing is it is very difficult to get appointments because they are so booked. We will see what happens.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
And then there was one...
We went and saw the remaining option for doctors out in town yesterday. I'm not too sure yet what to think about him. For now I'm reserving judgement until after we see him again. We have another appointment next week.
At least this one we were even willing to see again so that is a step in the right direction.
At least this one we were even willing to see again so that is a step in the right direction.
Monday, October 26, 2009
I feel so popular
Wow I didn't realize so many people were reading my blog.
Or that so many people had an opinion on what we were doing. Not that I mind. I think the more information we have the better decisions we can make. Our parents, families and friends who know us and who have, or are, dealing with similar things can offer insights that sometimes it's hard to see when you are living day to day with something.
So please keep sharing advice and words of wisdom. We do appreciate and take it in the spirit we know it's intended.
I do want to clarify a couple things from my previous post.
We are not looking to put a label on Grace. We are also not looking to medicate her as an answer to the issues we are dealing with. Neither one of those things improve the quality of her life.
Our goal in seeking care for her is to try to find out what is going on in her mind, how her brain works, how her thoughts process and with that information how we can most effectively parent her.
She doesn't think like me. What seems logical and makes sense to me just doesn't to her. It doesn't make it wrong it just means as the parent I may have to adjust my thinking, and parenting, in such a way that she can understand it. At least for now that's how I look at it.
At this point in time we are medicating her for adhd. It's been about 11 months since we started that and there has been a definite improvement in her ability to function in school. I was anti-medication for children. If you had asked me 18 months ago I would have told you I thought adhd was hugely over diagnosed in our society. Actually I still think that. However in our case after years of reading books and taking classes on behavior modification, positive reinforcement, staying consistent, presenting a united front, plus others I was out of resources. The school guidance counselor for k-2 informed me that she didn't have any other ideas for us since we've already done everything they usually recommend. Even with all that Grace was still in danger of getting suspended because of her behavior. That is what prompted us to take the next step and see a psychiatrist. We had evaluations completed by teachers, coaches, and Josh as well as the doctor prior to the diagnosis. It was not a easy choice for us, don't think that because I don't usually talk about it on here, or maybe even in real life that it's not something that didn't weigh heavily on is before we took that step. Our daughter was six, in first grade and in danger of getting suspended. She knew the principal very well, I knew him. School was becoming a negative. In first grade. She still had years and years ahead of her. We had to do something different and for us this was the right choice. I am sure some of you may not agree, which is fine, but for us at this point it was the right choice. School is still not perfect. She still struggles but not at the same level as before. There is a new principal this year and two months into the school year she has never met him, a huge improvement over last year.
After typing all that I feel like it sounds like I am trying to justify our choices. Maybe I am. I have doubts. I don't think every choice we've made has been the correct one. I know we're not perfect. Maybe that's why I'm reaching out to those that care about us looking for support. I don't know.
Maybe I should let Josh read this before I post it. :)
Anyways as for the future I don't know what's going to happen. I just know I love my husband and my daughters more then anything. I just want them to grow up knowing we did the best we could for them.
For now we are still waiting to see what happens with medical. I know that if we wanted to we would be able to go back to the states without Josh. Clearly that is not what we want to do. Our first choice will always be to stay together as a family, time will tell if that works out.
If you read this and come back and it's gone then Josh told me to delete it. lol
Or that so many people had an opinion on what we were doing. Not that I mind. I think the more information we have the better decisions we can make. Our parents, families and friends who know us and who have, or are, dealing with similar things can offer insights that sometimes it's hard to see when you are living day to day with something.
So please keep sharing advice and words of wisdom. We do appreciate and take it in the spirit we know it's intended.
I do want to clarify a couple things from my previous post.
We are not looking to put a label on Grace. We are also not looking to medicate her as an answer to the issues we are dealing with. Neither one of those things improve the quality of her life.
Our goal in seeking care for her is to try to find out what is going on in her mind, how her brain works, how her thoughts process and with that information how we can most effectively parent her.
She doesn't think like me. What seems logical and makes sense to me just doesn't to her. It doesn't make it wrong it just means as the parent I may have to adjust my thinking, and parenting, in such a way that she can understand it. At least for now that's how I look at it.
At this point in time we are medicating her for adhd. It's been about 11 months since we started that and there has been a definite improvement in her ability to function in school. I was anti-medication for children. If you had asked me 18 months ago I would have told you I thought adhd was hugely over diagnosed in our society. Actually I still think that. However in our case after years of reading books and taking classes on behavior modification, positive reinforcement, staying consistent, presenting a united front, plus others I was out of resources. The school guidance counselor for k-2 informed me that she didn't have any other ideas for us since we've already done everything they usually recommend. Even with all that Grace was still in danger of getting suspended because of her behavior. That is what prompted us to take the next step and see a psychiatrist. We had evaluations completed by teachers, coaches, and Josh as well as the doctor prior to the diagnosis. It was not a easy choice for us, don't think that because I don't usually talk about it on here, or maybe even in real life that it's not something that didn't weigh heavily on is before we took that step. Our daughter was six, in first grade and in danger of getting suspended. She knew the principal very well, I knew him. School was becoming a negative. In first grade. She still had years and years ahead of her. We had to do something different and for us this was the right choice. I am sure some of you may not agree, which is fine, but for us at this point it was the right choice. School is still not perfect. She still struggles but not at the same level as before. There is a new principal this year and two months into the school year she has never met him, a huge improvement over last year.
After typing all that I feel like it sounds like I am trying to justify our choices. Maybe I am. I have doubts. I don't think every choice we've made has been the correct one. I know we're not perfect. Maybe that's why I'm reaching out to those that care about us looking for support. I don't know.
Maybe I should let Josh read this before I post it. :)
Anyways as for the future I don't know what's going to happen. I just know I love my husband and my daughters more then anything. I just want them to grow up knowing we did the best we could for them.
For now we are still waiting to see what happens with medical. I know that if we wanted to we would be able to go back to the states without Josh. Clearly that is not what we want to do. Our first choice will always be to stay together as a family, time will tell if that works out.
If you read this and come back and it's gone then Josh told me to delete it. lol
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Life...
and trying to live the one you have which is not always the one you expected.
I admit the life I have is not the one I thought I would have when Josh and I imagined the family we would create together.
Do I love my children? Yes, without a doubt.
Would I change them? No, that's not for me to do. God created them the way they are for a reason.
Would I do everything I can to help make life easier for them? In a second.
Usually I use this blog as a place to share funny stories about the girls to our family and friends or tell yet another story in what has become my personal medical drama but lately I know it's been quiet.
Kind of along the lines of if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.
Ok that's a bit dramatic but life has been a bit bumpier then usual and we have been looking for answers and not finding any so here I am laying it all out there for you guys.
And asking for prayers. Prayers for guidance. Divine intervention. Healing. Strength. Faith. Love. Hope. Answers. Plus the ability to know when presented with the correct answers.
As you all know Grace has not always been the easiest child. Is she loving, yes of course she can be but we all know when that switch flips all bets are off and since we have been back from the states that switch has been flipping ALL. THE. TIME. The meltdown have been increasing in intensity and frequency.
Plus the psychiatrist that she was seeing has left the island and the psychologist we see is leaving next month. There is no one coming to replace either one. There will be a child psychiatrist that will come once a year for two weeks. Not good news.
The resources available off base are very limited but I researched what was there and we went and saw a doctor last week and it was not a good experience. We will not be seeing him again. His advice was not anything we are willing to do and when we told her doctors what he recommended they agreed with us that they were not appropriate choices for her. There is one more doctor out in town that we have an appointment with next week so we will see how that goes. Honestly it couldn't be worse then the doctor we saw.
She is officially diagnosed with ADHD and ODD with red flags for early onset childhood bi-polar disorder. For now the visiting child psychiatrist is changing around her adhd medications and we are going to see how she responds to that.
At this point it seems to come down to two choices. We stay here in Guam as a family but Grace isn't going to receive services other then our family doctor strictly to refill prescriptions.
Or Grace, Brianna and I return to the states and Josh stays here until summer '11 but Grace will be able to get the services she needs.
Neither are choices I want to choose.
I admit the life I have is not the one I thought I would have when Josh and I imagined the family we would create together.
Do I love my children? Yes, without a doubt.
Would I change them? No, that's not for me to do. God created them the way they are for a reason.
Would I do everything I can to help make life easier for them? In a second.
Usually I use this blog as a place to share funny stories about the girls to our family and friends or tell yet another story in what has become my personal medical drama but lately I know it's been quiet.
Kind of along the lines of if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.
Ok that's a bit dramatic but life has been a bit bumpier then usual and we have been looking for answers and not finding any so here I am laying it all out there for you guys.
And asking for prayers. Prayers for guidance. Divine intervention. Healing. Strength. Faith. Love. Hope. Answers. Plus the ability to know when presented with the correct answers.
As you all know Grace has not always been the easiest child. Is she loving, yes of course she can be but we all know when that switch flips all bets are off and since we have been back from the states that switch has been flipping ALL. THE. TIME. The meltdown have been increasing in intensity and frequency.
Plus the psychiatrist that she was seeing has left the island and the psychologist we see is leaving next month. There is no one coming to replace either one. There will be a child psychiatrist that will come once a year for two weeks. Not good news.
The resources available off base are very limited but I researched what was there and we went and saw a doctor last week and it was not a good experience. We will not be seeing him again. His advice was not anything we are willing to do and when we told her doctors what he recommended they agreed with us that they were not appropriate choices for her. There is one more doctor out in town that we have an appointment with next week so we will see how that goes. Honestly it couldn't be worse then the doctor we saw.
She is officially diagnosed with ADHD and ODD with red flags for early onset childhood bi-polar disorder. For now the visiting child psychiatrist is changing around her adhd medications and we are going to see how she responds to that.
At this point it seems to come down to two choices. We stay here in Guam as a family but Grace isn't going to receive services other then our family doctor strictly to refill prescriptions.
Or Grace, Brianna and I return to the states and Josh stays here until summer '11 but Grace will be able to get the services she needs.
Neither are choices I want to choose.
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